My wife Kristina is an immeasurably gracious and wonderful gift to me. God kindly brought her into my life about 27 years ago and gave her to me as my wife almost 20 years ago. She has enriched my life in countless ways, and I’m grateful and honored to be hers, to be close to her, to walk the path of life with her. And as I tell you this, I want to confess something. I sometimes look to Kristina to validate me or to certify that I’m worth something. Now, you might not think it’s bad...
Tag - marriage
Sometimes marriage can seem overwhelming and complicated. We may ask ourselves sometimes, “Why isn’t my marriage working better?” It’s kind of like running. Some days you cruise along feeling energetic and invigorated. Other days your feet feel heavy, and you feel drained. What makes the difference? Well, maybe you’re dehydrated, or you’ve been eating junk, or maybe you’re just off. Marriage can be like that. However, there are some tweaks you can make to improve your...
When I was single, especially in my twenties, I really wanted to get married. I grew up believing that dating was for the purpose of finding a spouse, and so I was on a quest to find a wife. My quest ended on August 7, 2004. In some ways, I think I made marriage an idol. I still do. Don’t get me wrong, a spouse is a blessing from God, a wonderful gift from God to be thoroughly enjoyed. It is right and good to enjoy your spouse. However, your spouse is not the solution to your biggest...
Last episode I gave you a truth that will provide you immense comfort, fortitude, strength, and thankfulness in marriage if you believe it. Here’s the truth again: Your loving heavenly Father will sustain you in marriage and work your marriage for your ultimate good. Oh, that you would believe that. When you confess, “I believe in God the Father almighty, Maker of heaven and earth,” you are confessing the truth that God will preserve, protect, and provide for you in your marriage. Can...
Before we get rolling, if you are being abused in your marriage, either physically—which includes sexually—or emotionally, you should act immediately. If you’re in immediate danger, fly to a safe place and get help. If you are being abused, I recommend several options. If you go to a healthy church with godly shepherds, tell your elders about the abuse so they can protect and help you. You can also reach out to a Biblical counselor through CCEF.org or biblicalcounseling.com. Another...
Marriage.com addressed 25 common marriage problems, each of which creates pain in marriage. Here are nine of them. I think you’ll resonate with them. Selfish Behavior – Do your desires, opinions, ambitions, hobbies, and more get in the way of your marriage? Communication Problems – Do you really listen to your spouse? Are you committed to understanding them? Do you realize that others including your spouse may not understand what you’re feeling or trying to say...
I hope you need to imagine this and that it’s not a reality for you, but imagine that you’re in major debt, you can’t pay it off, and you’re married. How does the debt affect your marriage? With debt looming, you’re anxious, fearful, discontent, and stressed, which will inevitably impact how you treat your spouse. This one big financial burden is amplifying your sinful struggles and affecting your marriage. I read that “studies have indicated that frequent fights about money are a...
Many marriage books are a waste of time, but I know one that certainly isn’t. Probably my favorite marriage book—and I use it in pre-marital counseling—is Friends and Lovers by Joel Beeke. It’s excellent, and it’s short. There are many helpful things in Beeke’s little book that if taken seriously and implemented, will make a great difference in your marriage. I think you should read it. In the last chapter on appreciating your spouse, Dr. Beeke wrote something that jumped off the...
Last week’s point was important: God’s law defines sin and uncovers where God’s transforming grace is needed. God’s law humbles a couple because both husband and wife have a sin problem. So, instead of attacking one another, humbly help one another deal with your biggest problem. You’re a team, an army of two. If you want to have electricity in your house, you are required to pay the electric bill. If you want to shop in certain stores, you need to be wearing shoes and a shirt. If...
For a few months, I’ve been working hard on finishing my basement. It’s going to be a great space, but I’ve had my challenges. One of the challenges was installing my pre-hung doors. That’s not easy to do, by the way. I got three of them done; I couldn’t get the fourth to work. Folks, it seemed to me that I was doing it right, and yet the door still wasn’t right. I just couldn’t get it right, and it was frustrating, very frustrating, and I didn’t know why it wasn’t right...