Who’s in Charge in Your Marriage?

New boy in the neighborhood Lives downstairs and it’s understood. He’s there just to take good care of me, Like he’s one of the family. Do you know these lyrics? If you grew up in the 80s, you might recognize them. Here’s the chorus: Charles in Charge of our days and our nights Charles in Charge of our wrongs and our rights And I sing, I want, I want Charles in Charge of me. Charles in Charge debuted on CBS in 1984. I was four years old. The star...

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A Marriage Made in Heidelberg (17): Remembering You’re Adopted Helps You Love Your Spouse

My wife Kristina is an immeasurably gracious and wonderful gift to me. God kindly brought her into my life about 27 years ago and gave her to me as my wife almost 20 years ago. She has enriched my life in countless ways, and I’m grateful and honored to be hers, to be close to her, to walk the path of life with her. And as I tell you this, I want to confess something. I sometimes look to Kristina to validate me or to certify that I’m worth something. Now, you might not think it’s bad...

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A Marriage Made in Heidelberg (16): Three Things You Can Do to Improve Your Marriage

Sometimes marriage can seem overwhelming and complicated. We may ask ourselves sometimes, “Why isn’t my marriage working better?” It’s kind of like running. Some days you cruise along feeling energetic and invigorated. Other days your feet feel heavy, and you feel drained. What makes the difference? Well, maybe you’re dehydrated, or you’ve been eating junk, or maybe you’re just off. Marriage can be like that. However, there are some tweaks you can make to improve your...

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A Marriage Made in Heidelberg (15): Secular Counseling vs. the Sufficiency of Christ & His Word

THIS CONTENT HAS BEEN REMOVED On Thursday, November 2, I released an episode titled “Secular Counseling vs. the Sufficiency of Christ & His Word.” It was part of my series titled “A Marriage Made in Heidelberg.” I removed the episode from my podcast as well as the transcript here. Listen to my explanation in the above SPECIAL episode.

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A Marriage Made in Heidelberg (14): Your Spouse Cannot Save You

When I was single, especially in my twenties, I really wanted to get married. I grew up believing that dating was for the purpose of finding a spouse, and so I was on a quest to find a wife. My quest ended on August 7, 2004. In some ways, I think I made marriage an idol. I still do. Don’t get me wrong, a spouse is a blessing from God, a wonderful gift from God to be thoroughly enjoyed. It is right and good to enjoy your spouse. However, your spouse is not the solution to your biggest...

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A Marriage Made in Heidelberg (13): A Rock to Stand on in Marriage – God’s Providence

Last episode I gave you a truth that will provide you immense comfort, fortitude, strength, and thankfulness in marriage if you believe it. Here’s the truth again: Your loving heavenly Father will sustain you in marriage and work your marriage for your ultimate good. Oh, that you would believe that. When you confess, “I believe in God the Father almighty, Maker of heaven and earth,” you are confessing the truth that God will preserve, protect, and provide for you in your marriage. Can...

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A Marriage Made in Heidelberg (9): The Necessity of Hearing & Believing the Gospel in Marriage

This week, I listened to a sermon from another church. I won’t disclose the name of the church or its location. The preacher’s main focus during the sermon was how to get along with others who disagree with you. He used little Scripture. He didn’t really read Scripture (1 Tim. 4:13) or give the redemptive meaning of Scripture (2 Tim. 4:2). His focus was less faithful exposition than it was application. Besides using some misleading and unhelpful wording about Jesus being a...

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A Marriage Made in Heidelberg (7): Freed from the Biggest Stressor in Marriage to Love Your Spouse

I hope you need to imagine this and that it’s not a reality for you, but imagine that you’re in major debt, you can’t pay it off, and you’re married. How does the debt affect your marriage? With debt looming, you’re anxious, fearful, discontent, and stressed, which will inevitably impact how you treat your spouse. This one big financial burden is amplifying your sinful struggles and affecting your marriage. I read that “studies have indicated that frequent fights about money are a...

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A Marriage Made in Heidelberg (6): Your Spouse Is So Much Better than a Bed of Flames

Many marriage books are a waste of time, but I know one that certainly isn’t. Probably my favorite marriage book—and I use it in pre-marital counseling—is Friends and Lovers by Joel Beeke. It’s excellent, and it’s short. There are many helpful things in Beeke’s little book that if taken seriously and implemented, will make a great difference in your marriage. I think you should read it. In the last chapter on appreciating your spouse, Dr. Beeke wrote something that jumped off the...

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A Marriage Made in Heidelberg (5): Our Inability & the Hope of Jesus Christ

Last time we thought about what God requires of us in marriage. God calls you and me to love our spouses with perfect love, and yet we are unable to do that. Hate is natural for us; love isn’t. Why? Because our nature is corrupted by sin. That’s why in marriage we must depend on God’s grace and Spirit daily to make strides in love, to put off the old self, and to put on Christ. As I said last time, “You need Jesus or you will fail,” meaning you will fail to love your spouse. My son...

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