Out of any nation on earth, the US has the highest rate of children in single-parent households, 80% of which are missing the father. [1] Over 18 million children in the US do not have a dad at home with them. [2] That’s a significant problem that has an immeasurably negative effect on children. Listen to these sad US statistics from the America First Policy Institute: [3]
- 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes.
- 85% of children who exhibit behavior disorders are from fatherless homes.
- Fatherless families are four times more likely to live in poverty than that for married-couple families.
- Data suggests 90% of homeless and runaway children come from fatherless homes.
Additionally, girls who feel closeness to their father are 75% less likely to have a teen birth, and children who feel closeness to their father are 80% less likely to spend time in jail.
The National Center for Fathering reports these additional stats: [4]
- 71% of all adolescent substance abusers come from a fatherless home.
- 80% of adolescents in psychiatric hospitals come from fatherless homes.
- 60% of rapists were raised in fatherless homes.
- Fatherless children experience more accidents and a higher rate of chronic asthma, headaches, and speech defects.
- Fatherless children are nine times more likely to drop out of school.
The National Fatherhood Initiative reports that fatherlessness is a crisis in America, and that children raised in father-absent homes have a greater risk of poverty and infant mortality and are more likely to have behavioral problems, to go to prison, to commit a crime, to become pregnant as a teen, to face abuse and neglect, to abuse drugs and alcohol, to suffer obesity, and to drop out of school. [5] Fathers aren’t the fundamental problem, sin is, yet it is true that millions of men are shirking their responsibility as husband and father, and it’s hurting millions of children. And yet, the good news is, fathers, that as we are faithful to our wives, if we are faithful as fathers, too, we will be a lasting positive influence on our kids. We’re not the Savior, Jesus is, but our faithfulness will be powerful.
Fathers, you play a critical role in the wellbeing of your children. You also play a vital role in reaching your children with the gospel of a crucified and risen Christ.
When it comes to reaching the next generation with the gospel, we don’t need better schools, athletics, community programs, 501(c)(3)s, or youth groups, we need fathers to take their spiritual responsibility of husband and father seriously and to have a plan of action to love and nurture their children in the Lord at home. Moms too.
The Lord said of Abraham:
For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has promised him. (Gen. 18:19)
In Psalm 78, Asaph pled with God’s people to listen to his teaching, to things that their fathers told them (v. 3). He said, “We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done” (Ps. 78:4). Substantial parts of Proverbs are Solomon addressing his sons (e.g. 4:1; 5:7; 7:24; 8:32). Solomon took a great interest in passing divine wisdom onto his sons, and Proverbs 17:6 actually says, “the glory of children is their fathers.” One study Bible comments on that proverb, “The parents are the guardians and most influential teachers of divine truth to their children.” [6] Fathers lead that charge.
I want to encourage you fathers to take Ephesians 6:4 seriously, to obey it with conviction: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” That’s the mission Christ gives to you. As you remain faithful to your wife, teach your children the law and gospel of your Lord. Train them in a disciplined way. Mentor and admonish them. You can’t change their hearts, but you can teach and nurture them faithfully, and God will bless your faithfulness.
Fathers, you need to be leading your wife and kids in family worship at home (Deut. 6:4-9). You need to be catechizing them in the fundamental truths of the Christian faith (Ex. 12:26; 13:8, 14, 15). I explain how to do this simply in my book The Heidelberg Catechism: True Comfort for Life and Death. Read the chapter titled “How to Profit Most from the Catechism.” It lays out a clear plan for you. Regularly leading family worship at home is not difficult, but it does take commitment. Since you love Christ and your children deeply, obey your Lord when he tells you, “Bring up [your children] in the discipline and instruction of [me, your Lord],” and give your children the gift of spiritual nurture. It’s worth it to put some thought and time into it.
I encourage you to do two simple things. Will you do these two simple things? First, read the chapter “How to Profit Most from the Catechism.” Second, commit to implementing what you read. Read and implement. A little Spirit-induced effort will be an immense gift to your children. And if your children take hold of your vision, your nurture will surpass your own life, for generations will benefit from your faithfulness. The Lord is with you as you do your part in reaching the next generation with the gospel.
[2] Ibid.
[3] Ibid.
[4] https://fathers.com/wp39/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/fatherlessInfographic.pdf
[6] R. C. Sproul, ed., The Reformation Study Bible: English Standard Version (2015 Edition) (Orlando, FL: Reformation Trust, 2015), 1046.
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